Week 8: Finding balance

My most flattering picture.

After two weeks of being off the band wagon it was not so easy to get back into the swing of things. As evidenced by this picture, things are off to a questionable start. 

I am trying to find a balance. I want to be a healthier person - but I don't want to be an absolute nut. I want to be somewhere in the middle. So far, I am not having much luck. Apparently, I only have two modes: Off and Bat-Shit Crazy. 

When I am in Off mode I let my brain convince me that I really don't want to go to the gym. I want to stay home where it is warm and read a book, or take a bath, or watch t.v. or eat a whole bowl of cookie dough. Off mode makes me think that this is to much work. I am fine just the way I am. I don't need to make a change. Off mode me likes to go out to dinner with friends and laugh and drink and have dessert. Off mode me loves dessert. Off mode me gained back 3 of the pounds that Bat-Shit Crazy me worked really hard to lose. She isn't sorry. 

Bat-Shit Crazy me goes to the gym at least 5 times a week. Sometimes she goes twice a day. She is planning on cutting out all sugar. She reads about running and healthy living.  She does multiple styles of workout. She knows yoga, weightlifting, running, biking and elliptical. She doesn't bother to put on real clothes. It's all sports bras and workout pants. She judges you when you don't make it to the gym. She doubts your dedication. She DOES NOT have dessert. She counts calories. Probably yours and hers. She cut our diet soda and tells you it is poison. She isn't a lot of fun. She is SERIOUS. Bat-Shit Crazy me loses about 1.5 -2 lbs a week. It frustrates her - even though all the health magazines say that is normal and healthy. If she gets her hands on Off mode me she is gonna kick her ass for gaining back those three pounds. 

"Paging balanced Bobbye, If balanced Bobbye is in the building can you please come to the front." 

I would like to hope that balanced Bobbye is in there somewhere. I imagine once I find her she will be sane and make good choices. She will stick with no soda but occasionally have dessert. Probably a healthier version. She will go to the gym - but she won't obsess. She will push herself - but she won't judge herself to harshly. She won't give up. She will count calories - but she won't sweat it if she is over by 100 every once and awhile. 

I think that everyone in our family program is struggling with balance. The majority of us have had a rough couple of weeks. 

Annie, Mark and Dave are the only ones that have had stellar weeks. Watch out guys - I am jumping back on the wagon. Hopefully a more sane, balanced wagon. 

This weeks dinner was at Cady and Erinn's house. We had make your own healthy pizza and vegan pad thai.

As a family we have lost 96 lbs. Even with a couple of slow weeks are kicking butt. 

Weeks 6 & 7: Snowflakes and Vaginas.

These have not been the easiest weeks in the journey of my warrior like family to svelte bikini ready bods. Why you might ask? Well, Snowflakes and Vaginas of course.

Week 6: Snowflakes and Cupcakes. We had a snow storm that buried us under more than 32 inches of snow. Yep, you read that right - more then three feet. No one wants to eat carrot sticks and hummus when you are waist deep in a frozen white (hell) wonderland. You want hot coco, beef stew and anything else that will stick to your ribs and help create a layer of blubber to act as insulation when you get buried alive in an avalanche of the roof of your house. You need all the blubber that you can get so that have any hope of survival when you are finally unearthed come Spring. You need those fat stores damnit!

We attempted to have a family dinner weigh in on Sunday, but most of the participants were busy trying to dig themselves and their homes out from under mounds and mounds of snow.

Dave cooked dinner for those of us that could walk or wade over to Erinn and Cady's. He made mashed cauliflower and turkey meatloaf. It was delicious and warm and a great way to spend an evening after spending two day, 8-10 hours a day, shoveling our driveway, porch, cars, roof and yard.

In addition to conditions being ripe for eating anything that looks like it will paste itself directly to my butt - The YMCA has been closed for three and a half days. No gym. No running. No gym dancing.

Our schools were closed for the entire week post storm. That's another thing that makes it difficult to keep with the routine. Who wants to wade out into waist deep snow to go to the gym when there is an adorable small person who wants to cuddle on the couch and watch movies whilst sharing a bag of chips.

Week six was not my finest week in my get healthy journey. Week seven wasn't shaping up to be any better.

Week 7: Vagina, Vagina, Vagina: This year as part of the V Day campaign I organized and directed a benefit production of Eve Ensler's Vagina monologues. I believe in the V day project. It is good for my soul. It is not good for my diet. This week was tech week for the show. For those of you who aren't familiar with a tech week or "hell week" it is a week chock full of rehearsals, running around and solving problems. Rarely does the problem "did I eat today?" rise to the top of the pile. In order to survive you shove whatever you can find down your throat and keep on trucking. One night I had pizza for dinner, one night I had a muffin. I broke all my rules and even had a diet soda. It was bedlam I tell you!

After all the hard work comes the celebration! In my neck of the woods we celebrate with food and libations. The grown folks kind. On Thursday night I celebrated with margaritas. On Friday with Lavender martinis (classy right). After I was done celebrating a successful show I celebrated my family with dinner at Dave and Busters complete with Angry Orchard Hard Cider. You might think I was done celebrating - but I was not. I celebrated on! On Sunday I celebrated with some good friends. We celebrated Tate and Missy having a baby. Tate and I celebrated with bourbon and lemonade. I am all celebrated out.

I also gained back two of the twelve pounds that I have lost. You know what. It was worth every damn ounce. My mom asked me during our weigh in "Did you have two pounds of fun?" I sure did.

So each week can't be two pounds of fun. I also know that I can have fun sans alcohol and fatty foods. This week it didn't happen. Next week is going to be better.

Here's to jumping back on the healthy lifestyle bandwagon.

For information on the V day campaign you can visit www.vday.org

Week Five: The Super Bowl. Also known as the game they play so we all have an excise to get together and deep fry anything that isn't nailed down and then enjoy it smothered in ranch dressing.

As you may have heard the Super Bowl was this last Sunday. If you aren't familiar with the Super Bowl it is a football game that is played each year so that we have an excuse to get together and eat all sorts of food that is terrible for you, has very little nutritional value, but tastes like heaven. I am serious. Fried food nirvana. It is a time for chicken wings, chili, fried buffalo chicken wontons, chips and salsa, pigs in a blanket, sliders, pulled pork and anything else your little heart can imagine. If you are looking for a healthy option - maybe you would find a sad veggie tray buried on the back of the table just waiting for the moment when everything else was gone and folks were still hungry. The very same veggie tray that probably had ranch dipping sauce that almost negated the healthiness of the veggies.

You can't go to a Super Bowl party like that when you have turned over a new leaf to a healthy life style and a better you. You certainly can't go to a party like that if you are trying to beat the pants off of your family in a healthier living competition with $260 dollars on the line. A party like that could be dangerous.

Even if you managed to dodge all the food bullets that would be flying at you there would still be beer. Rich, hoppy, wonderful, full of empty calorie beer.

Superbowl parties can be a dangerous place.

Usually our Super Bowl party is a lot like the ones described above. A three hour festival of dips and sauces topped off with some great craft beer and a fair offering of Miller High Life. This year we decided that the party needed to have some healthier options.

All things considered I think we did a pretty good job. We had spicy black bean hummus, homemade guacamole, sweet potato and black bean chili, creamy tex mex bean dip with baked tortilla chips my mama made, an awesome salad with chic peas and cranberries and a veggie tray.

I was afraid our party was gonna be a bummer. My concern was that no one was gonna wanna come eat healthier options when the world of fried deliciousness was open. You know what? It was awesome. The food was delicious and people had fun. We did still have a fair amount of craft beer and High Life. Everything in moderation right.

I made it to the gym pre-festivites for a last chance work out. The Y got a rowing machine. I have decided it was made by Satan himself to torture me and my poor muscles. That being said I felt very accomplished after fifteen hundred virtual meters rowed. Accomplished and sweaty.

This week was a good week for everyone. When Mark weighs in and has a good week he does a little dance. It is reminiscent of the gorilla dance that he did when we all used to play a DOS computer game with a gorilla that destroyed buildings by throwing bananas. I am sorry that you all aren't here to see it. It is pretty great.

Week Four: Sometimes the Tasty Cakes and Wine Win

This wasn't the finest week in our families journey to healthy lifestyles and svelte bodies. For a few of us - this week the Tasty Cakes and wine won.

Someone who shall not be named fell off the Tasty Cake wagon. To hear her tell the story she fell off the wagon in a big way. Multiple packages of cakes in a single day.

The culprit.

Sometimes life gets the best of us and we have a bad day. Or even a bad week filled with TastyKakes and wine. Life happens. Sometimes the only cure for something that ails you is drowning your sorrow in flour and sugar and following it up with several glasses of wine. The TastyKake therapy plan.

The moral of the story is one week filled with TastyKakes isn't a deal breaker. You have to get back on the healthy plan wagon. That is what makes us tough bad ass life changers. We aren't going to let slip ups define our journey. Our TastyKake enthusiast popped right back on the healthy train. You know what? My money is on her to win the whole shebang. She is one tough chick.

While eating multiple packages of sugary goodness and downing a bottle of wine is no ones definition of healthy living, I also refuse to become someone that turns my nose up at anyone who enjoys an occasional dessert. I won't become some raw food nut who lectures my friends while waving a carrot stick at them. I plan to continue to enjoy eating. It is one of my favorite things to do. Sometimes I plan to enjoy it by having a piece of cake. Don't try and get in my way. You might lose a hand.

The plan is moderation. Everyday I will make the healthiest choices that I can. Once in a Blue Moon I will choose the cake and not feel guilty about it.

This weeks weigh in was at my house again this week - but it was hosted by Becky and Jer. They made some super slammin' beef tacos in the crock pot. Have I mentioned that the crock pot might possibly be the greatest invention since the light bulb? Seriously, try these tacos. You won't be sorry.

Becky also made a low calorie S'mores pie for desert. People drooled. She replaces the graham crackers with little graham cracker pie crusts which increased the quality of this dessert by at least 52%. I mean come on - who doesn't like tiny pies.

Next week is the Super Bowl. Stay tuned to find out if we survive the land mine of delicious deep fried football themed snacks.