Week 8: Finding balance

My most flattering picture.

After two weeks of being off the band wagon it was not so easy to get back into the swing of things. As evidenced by this picture, things are off to a questionable start. 

I am trying to find a balance. I want to be a healthier person - but I don't want to be an absolute nut. I want to be somewhere in the middle. So far, I am not having much luck. Apparently, I only have two modes: Off and Bat-Shit Crazy. 

When I am in Off mode I let my brain convince me that I really don't want to go to the gym. I want to stay home where it is warm and read a book, or take a bath, or watch t.v. or eat a whole bowl of cookie dough. Off mode makes me think that this is to much work. I am fine just the way I am. I don't need to make a change. Off mode me likes to go out to dinner with friends and laugh and drink and have dessert. Off mode me loves dessert. Off mode me gained back 3 of the pounds that Bat-Shit Crazy me worked really hard to lose. She isn't sorry. 

Bat-Shit Crazy me goes to the gym at least 5 times a week. Sometimes she goes twice a day. She is planning on cutting out all sugar. She reads about running and healthy living.  She does multiple styles of workout. She knows yoga, weightlifting, running, biking and elliptical. She doesn't bother to put on real clothes. It's all sports bras and workout pants. She judges you when you don't make it to the gym. She doubts your dedication. She DOES NOT have dessert. She counts calories. Probably yours and hers. She cut our diet soda and tells you it is poison. She isn't a lot of fun. She is SERIOUS. Bat-Shit Crazy me loses about 1.5 -2 lbs a week. It frustrates her - even though all the health magazines say that is normal and healthy. If she gets her hands on Off mode me she is gonna kick her ass for gaining back those three pounds. 

"Paging balanced Bobbye, If balanced Bobbye is in the building can you please come to the front." 

I would like to hope that balanced Bobbye is in there somewhere. I imagine once I find her she will be sane and make good choices. She will stick with no soda but occasionally have dessert. Probably a healthier version. She will go to the gym - but she won't obsess. She will push herself - but she won't judge herself to harshly. She won't give up. She will count calories - but she won't sweat it if she is over by 100 every once and awhile. 

I think that everyone in our family program is struggling with balance. The majority of us have had a rough couple of weeks. 

Annie, Mark and Dave are the only ones that have had stellar weeks. Watch out guys - I am jumping back on the wagon. Hopefully a more sane, balanced wagon. 

This weeks dinner was at Cady and Erinn's house. We had make your own healthy pizza and vegan pad thai.

As a family we have lost 96 lbs. Even with a couple of slow weeks are kicking butt.